Nontraditional
forms of marriage got a bit of a once-over this election cycle, what
with the news of Mitt Romney having polygamists in his lineage and
Barack Obama’s dad being married to another woman when he married the
President’s mother. Then there was the strange episode of Marianne, the
second Mrs. Newt Gingrich. On the cusp of the Republican presidential
primary in South Carolina, she told ABC News that her husband, after
carrying on an affair with Callista (the third Mrs. Gingrich) for a few
years, asked her for an open marriage. The candidate made no comment on
the allegation and skewered interviewers who asked for one. He went on
to win that primary, but not the nomination.
9. Gray Divorce
In
Japan, it’s known as retired husband syndrome: older couples whose kids
are no longer at home decide to throw a fire blanket over the last few
embers of their marriage and snuff it out rather than let it expire
along with them. Though overall U.S. divorce rates have declined since
their peak in the 1980s, the divorce rate among the 50-plus crowd has
risen to its highest level on record. In 1990, only 1 in 10 couples
seeking a divorce were 50 or older; by 2009, the number was roughly 1 in
4. That year, the poster couple was Al and Tipper Gore, who separated
after more than 40 years of marriage. This year it was Hollywood’s turn;
Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman, married a whisker longer than 30 years,
announced their separation in October.
8. Public Divorce Fury
Scorned
lovers have been around almost as long as lovers, but they used to
write poetry. Now, with the added fillip of social media, it’s a
marketing opportunity. In May, a newly divorced woman in Superior, Wis.,
held an “X-husband” yard sale of her former spouse’s stuff, including
an SUV spray-painted with the word cheater. In July, another
woman followed suit, with a forensically worded sign that read, “Husband
left us for a 22-year-old. House For Sale by scorned, slightly bitter,
newly single owner.” Her accompanying website, greatfamilyhome.com, drew more than 2 million visitors. And the home sold.
7. Stressed Out Men Prefer Heavier Women
While
skeletal female bodies may rule the catwalk, they don’t always rule
men’s hearts. An August study from the University of Newcastle in the
U.K. found that men who were stressed out tended to find slightly
heavier women more attractive than relaxed men did. Overall, men still
preferred a lower body mass index, but their appreciation for a range of
body types seemed to be enhanced by pressure.
6. Elaborate Wedding Proposals
Just as romantic splits are getting more public and colorful (see No.
8), so are wedding proposals. The simple knee-bend-with-a-box operation
will no longer do. Nor, indeed, will privacy. This year, thanks to
YouTube, we saw an unsuspecting woman being handed flowers by strangers
until she had too many to hold and her boyfriend appeared in a tux, a
New York Times columnist proposing to his girlfriend in a fake movie trailer
and, of course, actor Isaac Lamb, who enlisted friends, family and the
Bruno Mars song “I Think I Want to Marry You” to make the closest thing
to a Bollywood-by-way-of-Portland, Ore., marriage offer, all of which
was captured by cameras for public consumption. We wish the new couples
well and hope their marriages are as much fun as the proposals — and a
little simpler.
5. Polygamy Activism
Polygamists,
perhaps emboldened by the gains made by same-sex-marriage activists,
have started advocating for their type of family. In February, Kody
Brown, husband of four, father of 17 and the central figure in the
popular Lifetime reality show Sister Wives, sued the state of
Utah, claiming religious discrimination. He and others, including the
Darger family (three wives, 26 children), have been writing and talking
openly about their way of life in an effort to have polygamy
decriminalized. The courts in Utah have agreed to hear the case.
4. Surprise Celeb Divorces
Sometimes the kindest cut is the quickest. It’s certainly the most newsworthy. In the June edition of Playboy,
Tom Cruise was effusive in his praise for his third wife. But before
that issue was off newsstands, said third wife, Katie Holmes, had sprung
divorce papers on the star while he was filming in Iceland. More ouchy
still, it emerged that this was not an impulsive decision but the final
maneuver in what appeared to be a thought-out escape plan, which
included renting a getaway pad in New York City. They weren’t the first
couple to split unexpectedly. A few weeks after sending out a happy
December skiing photo, singer Seal and model Heidi Klum apparently went
off piste and filed for divorce. This was something of a change for the
two, who were known for renewing their wedding vows annually. Neither
couple quite hit the seven-year mark. Hmm.
3. The End of Men, or Not
More
women graduate from universities than men at every level. And more
higher-paying jobs are going to graduates. Does this mean men are over?
So proclaimed a magazine cover story in July 2010 and a more thoroughly
reported book, both called The End of Men, this September. The
rising employability, earning power and education of women has men on
the back foot, the book argues. Experts suggest this may put a strain on
inter-gender relationships as men struggle to find their place. But not
so fast: while women are doing better than their mothers, men doing
similar professions still earn more than women. Not to mention that the
biggest beneficiary of women’s extra income is usually the men who
married them. There’s life in those gentlemen yet.
2. The Covert-Ops Affair
For
some onlookers, David Petraeus’ affair with his biographer Paula
Broadwell offered a lesson in hubris, foolhardiness and the true meaning
of the word crush. Others simply learned a new way to leave
stealth messages for their squeeze on the side: Petraeus and Broadwell
communicated via a shared Gmail account. One would write a mash note and
leave it in the draft folder without sending it. The other would then
log on and check what surprises awaited in the draft. The technique,
which is said to be employed by terrorists as well, leaves no e-mail
signature. But as the ex-lovers and the entire rest of the planet found
out, it’s not spook-proof.
1. Marriage Equality Makes History
This
year the chips mostly fell the way of advocates for same-sex marriage.
In May, President Obama voiced his support for gay marriage, a reversal
of his former stance. In November, three states confirmed what polling
seemed to show — that the U.S. is slowly moving in favor of allowing
gays to marry. Voters in Maine, Maryland and Washington cast their
ballots in favor of same-sex marriage, the first time such a plebiscite
had succeeded. And Minnesotans became the first citizens to successfully
vote down a state ban on gay marriage. No wonder one marriage-equality
activist called 2012 “a banner year.”
